Oh My Buddha!

Meh

2012-02-01T12:43:00.000-08:00

If I were to write down everything and voice all of my opinions in one blog post, I'd probably write more words than those that already exist in this blog. I just figured I need to find another outlet for my stress, so here I am..

Let's see... School, work, relationship, living situation, car... School is fine, and work is fine, and even though I barely get paid, at least I GET paid. Relationship is suffering some, and it's painful right now. The arguments we had really made me appreciate him more than I ever have, but there is no sexual intimacy anymore. I think the sexual intimacy is the one I care about the most; If you love a peron you should bear to make sacrifices -- if you enjoy hugs and kisses, but they're not the type to really give those to you, then it should be okay, but no sexual intimacy just makes me feel worthless and as if they would rather not touch me. I'm perfectly attractive and try to do anything for the person I'm with, so I don't understand. He claims he was stressed in the beginning, but once I started nagging about it he just stopped touching me in general, and he admitted that pushed him away. I'm trying to change the things he doesn't like about me though; There are many things I said that I regret and I would choose the wrong times to talk. I hope it's not too late now. I feel hopeful, but at the same time it hurts, I don't feel like doing anything other than sit and contemplate on things that I really can't do anything about. I have to step back and just hope that things work themselves out.... I just miss him when I am in the same room as him, and that hurts the most. I wish I hadn't doubted him in the past. The only reason I did was because he seemed distant, and I should've just backed off and realized that there are several reasons why that could happen instead of taking it personally... So in being worried to lose him, I pushed him away and made my fear a reality. I still have him though, so there's still a chance. I love him so I am simply going to take a step back and let it be instead of thinking about it and feeling angry or upset.. That doesn't help anyone.

New Times

2011-11-11T12:18:00.001-08:00

Here I am sitting at Dunkin Donuts yet again, but this time in a completely different city. This city brings about this incredibly beautiful and peaceful feeling inside.. It's almost like I feel comfortable.. But at the same time I'm nervous, and my emotions are not at ease. I guess I'm just so used to life going to shit right after things seem to get better; it's the pattern my life seems to follow no matter where I am or who I'm with. All I can really do is go with the flow, and tell myself that everything that happens will happen for a reason, preferably in favor of a positive outcome.

My life is completely different now though. The only thing that stayed the same is the school I go to, but the people I know are different, and the people I used to know I barely see anymore. I quit working at Sushi House Hayakawa after working there for over 2 years and now work at The Limited at Mall of GA... The mall has become my neighborhood, and fashion is slowly becoming my expertise, even though... I'm not sure if it'll ever be my expertise, but I really love it. I love clothes and at least trying to give clients advice regarding fashion while laughing with my coworkers who say there will never be anyone like me... I don't know about that, I feel like I'm pretty ordinary, but one thing I know for sure is that the more time goes by, the higher goals I set for myself. Right now I have an A in anatomy lecture, but a C in lab, and it bothers the hell out of me, because I want an A. I want to get into the nursing program... But I'm going to keep studying hard so that maybe I can reach that goal.. I also went to an interview today for a pharmacy technician position and I'll know within a week whether or not I got the job. Going to the interview made me feel like a kid on Christmas morning... The more classes I take the more realize that the medical field is my passion, possibly my calling in life.. I want to change somebody's life one day, but right now I don't really believe in myself even though I'm achieving the things I've been trying to achieve all along. I even deleted my facebook so that I can concentrate on my studies, but then I get on here... I guess it's because I want to vent, but don't know who to vent to, because everyone has their own problems.

I don't know how Ace feels about me anymore because he doesn't really respond to my texts and almost completely stopped being physical with me and of course when I talked to my closest friend about my worries she said that's the worst sign coming from a guy and that she's never heard of that... Yet when I go home he messes around with me like he used to... But doesn't let me hug him too long before he jokes around in a matter that tells me he wants me to stop and it makes me let go... I'm a little worried about that, but I'm just going to trust it's in my head and that I'm just worrying about something stupid. I love him a lot, and the fact that I feel myself losing grasp of him a little even if it's in my head really makes me feel lonely, so I just strive to reach my goals even more so that I can get my mind off of it when I'm not with him. I know he's been stressed beyond any level I'm familiar with though, and now he finally seems happier and more at ease which really makes me happy :)

Huge Changes

2011-09-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

My life is going to be changing a lot within the next few months, or at least I expect that from the way things are going at the moment. I still have the same job, go to the same school, etc, but I have some big plans that I hope I can incorporate into my life in one form or another. Or should I call them goals?

1. I cannot wait until approximately a month from now when I live with Ace. I'm a little nervous, but I really enjoy being around him. When I'm away from him I still go about my daily errands and social life, but I feel like something is missing.. When he sends me random text messages telling me that he loves or miss me I feel this warm feeling in my heart... And wish I was with him... I love his lovey doveyness and pidgey kisses and pacman fever. Hahah. He's so silly. He has this quiet way of showing that he cares. He doesn't really use words, but rather he uses actions, and even though I'm not used to it, I'm slowly but surely becoming more comfortable with it.
2. After I get on top of my school work, I plan on hopefully participating in some sort of clubs, sports, or work out programs as well as volunteering outside of school to help people around me. I even told people I wanted to bake cookies to give out to the homeless one day, but we'll see how that goes. I want to try though... I want to take advantage of life while I have the opportunity, because life is a gift, not a privelege. I want to do something to change lives around me, or at least make people smile... and maybe make myself smile while I'm at it.
3. I want to start filming and editing more. I feel like I lost a piece of myself somewhere when I stopped filming and want to try to get it back..
4. I want to try to get a job within customer service, or maybe even an internship.
5. I want to get back into shape and eat healthy..
6. I want to start going to open mic nights again whenever I have the chance, and pick up my guitar again.

We shall see how this goes, but I believe if I stay on top of things I can make it happen :)

First I need to concentrate on school work and making my apartment squeaky clean as well as go through and pack my stuff... :D

:)

2011-08-25T12:47:00.001-07:00

There are 7 billion people in this world. 312,036,000 people in the U.S. and some how I magically met you. That alone is already a blessing in itself.

It's Funny...

2011-08-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

...When you sit down in the car and turn up the radio to hear a song that describes your current state of mind..

You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love
How to love

You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in the corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love

For a second you were here
Why you over there?
Its hard not to stare, the way you moving your body
Like you never had a love
Never had a love

When you was just a young’un you’re looks but so precious
But now your grown up
So fly its like a blessing but you can’t have a man look at you for 5 seconds
Without you being insecure
You never credit yourself so when you got older
It’s seems like you came back 10 times over
Now you’re sitting here in this damn corner
Looking through all your thoughts and looking over your shoulder

See you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love
How to love

See you had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in the corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love

For a second you were here
Why you over there?
Its hard not to stare the way you moving your body
Like you never had a love
Had a love

You had a lot of dreams that transform to visions
The fact that you saw the world affected all your decisions
But it wasn’t your fault
Wasn’t in your intentions

You the one here talking to me
You don’t wanna listen
But I admire your poppin bottles and dippin’
Just as much as you admire bartending and stripping
Baby, so don’t be mad
Nobody else trippin
You see a lot of crooks and the crooks still crook

See You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love
How to love

See you had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in the corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love

Oooh,
See I just want you to know
That you deserve the best
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
Yeah

And I want you to know, you’re far from the usual
Far from the usual

You see you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love
How to love

See you had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in the corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love

See you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love
How to love

See you had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in the corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love

It's 3:14 AM, and...

2011-08-25T00:15:00.000-07:00

I have this sudden urge to create a blog post. This is the occasional, almost unknown-to-the-masses diary of my life that I one day will look back on, and maybe I will find that my progress and determinism will make me proud, once I realize my potential I guess.. Right now life is a struggle.. Not to mention money, which is almost unheard of right now, but most of all I am struggling to leave everything in the past behind me so that I can focus on what I have.. Things feel stressful, but I believe neurotransmitters that cause such feelings of dismay or worry are primarily released as a result of one's biased perception on life.. There are so many positive things going on, and I am working hard to regain my old mindset so that I can smile when things are most difficult and uncertain.. I still try though... and a couple days during the week I find myself truly smiling... Mainly when I'm with him... :)

Ace and I have been together for 5 months now.. He woke me up Tuesday morning on our "monthiversary" by uttering, "I rooove youu! Happy 5 month anniversary... If you don't have to work later, then I will take you out somewhere, maybe we can get some steak!" And he kept his word; we went and had some nom nom at Longhorn Steakhouse. :D I must add though that even if he hadn't kept his promise I would've still sported the same huge smile on my face that I presently bear, because hearing those words were the best start of my day in a very long time... Hehe it makes me happy just thinking about it :)

Best of all, he is looking to get a house and I already put in my 60 days notice so that I can move in with him... :) And even better yet: it was his idea! <3 I don't think it has hit me yet... I'm nervous, but at the same time it doesn't feel real.. It makes me feel so special, but I don't think it'll truly hit me until I'm fixing to move in my stuff there.. and I get to cuddle up to him every night and wake up next to him... I've honestly never felt as comfy or safe as I do when I hear him sleep and wake up to him whispering "I love you" in my ear <3 I don't know... I really threw my whole heart in this time and, even though nobody knows what the future holds, I really hope we're in it for the long run, because thinking about all this knowing I don't have him by my side anymore would make me sad for a very, very long time.. I'm so happy that all the good, bad, wonderful, and terrible things that happened in the past opened exactly the right doors in the elaborate maze of my life so that I could stumble into his arms.. :)

Okay all cheesiness aside, it's bedtime for moi, I'll be back hyah soon! ;)

2011-05-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.

2011-05-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

Thank you for making me smile. I find comfort in the fact that all of the choices I made and all the obstacles I reluctantly faced led me to you. It makes me believe that it was all meant to happen and that, despite my doubts, I was always in the right place, slowly making my way closer to you. <3

2011-05-15T19:58:00.001-07:00

I'm almost out of money, and with no money I may have to leave Georgia. I've been working so hard towards my biggest goal: Staying here, but unexpected medical bills and car bullshit have thrown my calculations off. I don't want to lose everything. :/ I hate how I've come home crying every day for the past week while thinking that that won't solve anything.. It just makes me feel worse, but sometimes I feel like that's all I can do. I'm going to find a second job and hope that that doesn't take away too much time from me and Ace, I think he's the guy I've been waiting for for a long time and I don't want to lose him because of this crap.

Things always work out in their own way though, and I find comfort (or try to) in the fact that I believe that things happen for a reason. Thus far, my life has unfolded accordingly, and I hope this is just another step towards something positive that'll stick a smile of relief on my face. For now, I'll just play some guitar or keyboard; music is the best medicine <3

-_-

2011-05-11T03:01:00.000-07:00

You know when you're falling head first into dream land and you think of something you absolutely have to turn into a blog, but once you're awake you have no fucking clue what that was. Haha.

Anyway, I have the best boyfriend in the world :) It's 6am, he's at work and I feel like I got 8 hours of sleep even though I really only got 3, so here I am.

Oh, so as for the blog post I wanted to write as I fell asleep: I actually remember. Today I was rather temperamental in my own nice-ish way, I don't have those days often, but when I do it always gets me down.. I feel sort of angry, and sort of sad, because I have the greatest boyfriend, but my ex left me feeling insufficient and self conscious. I feel like I cannot amount up to anyone even though I am sure I can. I just have trouble seeing what I truly am. I try really hard and achieve a lot yet I'm left feeling like I accomplished nothing special and need to try harder just to be average, so I try harder to better myself in so many areas that I live 110 mph and exhaust myself and keep getting sick. And I'm in love, but I try to not care or expect too much (which is impossible, because after only 1 1/2 months I care more than I can describe), because after all the times I've put in my all and have gotten hurt I am afraid to get hurt again. Being afraid is no way to live, though, but all too many people can probably identify themselves in that. I trust the guy surprisingly.. I trust him a lot.. He's the best thing that has happened to me in a while.. But in the back of my mind I am still afraid, because the past couple years has consisted of constant high hopes just for things to crash down really hard. Lol, even a good friend of mine told me to not get my hopes up too high about anything, because according to recent patterns in my life it'd be foolish to do so unless I want to get hurt. But that's no way to live.. So I'm starting to say fuck it again, there's no point in living unless you come to terms with the past and realize that it doesn't necessarily have to keep repeating itself. I seem to often confront things in a very positive manner, but the journey towards actual happiness and self-actualization has become so difficult. I suppose I'll keep headbutting the obstacles like a fucking rhinoceros and hope I actually get somewhere.

Let's Get Some Fried Pidgey!

2011-05-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

Pidgey is the new word for chicken. Even Ace's mom is saying it now. Fried pidgey, grilled pidgey, spicy pidgey, chopped up pidgey, pidgey salad, barbecue pidgey, lemon pepper pidgey, beef pidgey (for when you really feel like having a Big Mac instead of a chicken sandwich), Pidgey frito, Pidgey alfredo with broccoli... You name it. ;)

Hahaha that's horrible

The Past Week

2011-05-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

Wednesday I managed to pull together almost $300 in donations to Japan, I is proud, yesss. :) That'll do some good hopefully? But I won't stop there hehe
Thursday I pulled weeds for my dad's friend with my dear Candace, and got a sunburn from hell on my back which decided to come back to haunt me. We will revisit this unfortunate event later. The ride back and Candace's perfect imitation of the line "#%&! Oh my God!" in Skrillex's song Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites made it totally worth it though... I LOVE HER! <3
Saturday night I found Ace already at my house after work, nice surpriseee <3 and AWESOME night up until 7am when I woke up from intense, painful itching on my back... which turned into a heat rash I still have today and it's fucking tuesday. Lame! He is officially the best boyfriend in the world for at least pretending to disregard its nastiness while spreading aloe vera and ointment all over it hahahaha <3
So as soon as the rash seemed to start disappearing somewhat, I ended up with a UTI. DAMNIT, BODY! I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW. >.<

Nostalgia.

2011-05-03T22:14:00.000-07:00

I talked to a friend who misses the past and wishes that things could be different.. So I sent one of my notes on facebook:

This moment
when compared to
remembered moments
is boring

But if I look closely
at all remembered moments
I find them just as boring
and for the same reason

The missing moment
the beautiful moment
the perfect moment
where all is fine
DOES NOT EXIST;
it must be created
by taking any boring moment
(like this current moment)
and realizing quite clearly
that the only thing preventing
this moment from being
that beautiful moment
is the act of comparison

One must embrace this boring moment
and make it that special moment

Otherwise it will never exist.

The Past Year

2011-04-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

My life has completely changed within the past year. The best way to go about it, I suppose, is to write a list of what ultimately led me up to where I currently find myself. ;) Let's start, shall we?

Made straight As Spring of 2010; I remember that was a huge accomplishment for me and brought my GPA up to a 3.4 or so. Now it's at a 3.6 and rising :D
Karaoke, karaoke, and more karaoke.
I started going out with Daniel, a friend of Nadav's.
Aimee came to stay with us for a while. She planned on actually staying for good, but that didn't happen due to unforeseen circumstances.
We had some crazy times, crazy parties, as well as crazy uncomfortable and uncertainness. Life was a blur for a couple months, I don't know, it was weird.
Daniel, Ben, and Allen got arrested on July 7th, the morning after my crazy, almost infamous 20th birthday party. They said they were going to head out for a couple hours and then come back, but they never did, and that night I found out what happened. Aimee was dating Ben at the time so she had just as shitty of a time when we found out about it.
Then it started; putting money on books, paying for phone calls, writing letters, sending pictures, putting more money on books so that they could get as much as soap and towels (decent food if they were lucky), travelling up to Cobb County Jail once or twice a week for visitation, calling a lawyer and bail bondsmen, talking to his mom who terrified the crap out of me, trying to scrape together whatever money I had, getting things together to possibly sell to get them out of there, and making crazy deals with people so I could borrow money. None of it was wise though, so I didn't follow through on it. Instead, I waited for everything to run its course.
In early August, Daniel and Ben were moved to Dekalb county jail and Daniel called me saying how horrible it was there and they were in lock down almost constantly. ...Whatever dude.
Around the same time, my mom started discussing divorcing Shingo and moving back to Florida. Aimee also got a job at my work and had worked there a couple weeks, which was fun... She also got a tattoo gun and she tattooed me for the first time, but the damn thing disappeared because the needle didn't eject the ink deep enough into my skin, hahaha..
Daniel got bailed out sometime around the 20th of August and was sent to a rehab center on the 23rd. I told him to not worry if he couldn't call me for a while and to focus on himself since that's what rehab is about.
Mom moved to Florida on August 22nd and Aimee went with her after quitting her job at my work. At the same time, my car engine failed, so I was left with no car, which was a huge problem but was the least of my concern up until after my family moved back to FL. Shingo went with them to help move things, and I remember saying goodbye like it was yesterday.. My mom came back up to the door almost in tears and told me Matilda was crying and asked me to go out there and say goodbye to her again. Matilda then hugged me and said, "It's not because we're moving, it's because I'm going to miss you! :'(" and everyone started crying. Freaking horrible. After that, I watched them leave and climbed the steps to the empty house. I can still remember how it felt. It's one thing moving away from home; almost everyone does that at some point, but when your family leaves you for another state and you are left feeling totally and utterly alone, or at least I did. It fully hit me when I walked into my room which was now nearly empty since mom brought most of my furniture with her, as well as my cat. :( Everytime I saw something white (and possible fluffy) out of the corner of my eye I'd think it was him. Even one day after I moved into my new apartment, I thought I was about to trip over him.. :/
Well, my car stopped working, so I was left with no transportation and had to ask for rides to get to work, and it stayed that way for a couple months. In the meantime, Shingo said he wasn't comfortable with the living arrangement and that I'd have to move out pronto. I had almost no money what so ever, so naturally I freaked out and reconsidered moving to FL with my family, but decided to somehow figure out a way to stay.
In September I got my car, a 1998 Toyota Corolla. I remember I was so proud of somehow coming up with $4500 cash for that thing. It felt surreal when I started out with only around $500-1000.
In October I moved into my own apartment. I remember being so worried I wouldn't be able to afford it once I realized I also had to pay a security deposit on top of one month's rent, but it worked out. :)
Slowly, but surely I moved in while trying to keep my grades up.
In the meantime, Daniel was still in rehab and I even went up to the rehab facility to participate in family week or whatever the fuck. Sometime in October, right before I got my apartment, he got out of rehab and then dumped me almost immediately, saying he just couldn't have any girls in his life. A few days later, we got back together. :S
Semester ended, and I made a B+ and two As, I was pretty satisfied since that was the worst half a year of my life and I somehow still managed to keep my grades up even with no internet at my house, fighting with Aimee, and not even being able to really keep in touch with my mom, topped with work and all the crap going on with Daniel; I had to go to therapy meetings with his parents to learn how to deal with him properly and we fought constantly, mainly about the lies he told me, but I still stuck through it, which was dumb.
I celebrated my first Christmas alone, but my dad came the day before to eat dinner with me and a couple of his friends, as well as my friend Kiah, came over. It was nice, but then Christmas came. I knew I missed my family.. But when I put up a Christmas tree and laid in my bed after work that night I knew something was missing... And it was really depressing. :( Better luck next time, right? I still enjoyed it to the best of my ability while trying to hide my Christmas tree from all the Jewish neighbors..
New Year's rolled around, and I decided that after everything, I would improve my life in any way possible; I started working out again and eating healthy, and I felt great for a while.
Snowpocalypse 2011 happened, which was AWESOME! :D I definitely took the opportunity to sled down hills and across the frozen bruster's parking lot by Kroger with the huge group of people that was there. ;) I also did not have school or work that entire week (which happened to be the first week of school this semester).
A week or two after that, I got tired of all Daniel's lies; staying up late at night talking to girls on his webcam... Telling me that he was talking to Jewish guys (and made up entire stories and conversations) when they were really girls who he exchanged numbers with and was flirting with; the only reason I found out was because one of them texted him when I hung out with him. That was only one series of lies out of many. When I tried talking to him about it and asked why he couldn't be honest with me, he just said, "I don't know what to do about it, you just can't trust me, I can't do anything about it." After a few days of that and no progress I finally said fuck it, it's over. After everything, it was just too much. Months and months of that.. I just couldn't do it anymore. So, I escaped to Michelle's for about a week (I love her to death). Daniel had a cow and tried so hard to get me back and after about a week I finally gave in but told him I really wanted to trust him and to please just be honest with me, and he finally said he was sorry and that he wouldn't do that again. He was wrong.
School, work, school work, arguments with Aimee, wondering when I'd hear from my mom again, etc, etc, etc, lunch with friends, karaoke, etc. I kept struggling to make things right.
Things seemed to finally be getting better in February 2011 and then I went to Tallahassee, Florida on the 27th and stayed a couple days (and said hi to Maria in Stockbridge on the way! <3 and then got a speeding ticket... -_-).. Got to see where my mom works too (the hospital I was born in) and got to meet and take a picture with the Dr. who delivered me, craaazyness!
On my way back on March 1st, Daniel said how he was going to come see me when I got home, but when I actually got home he said he didn't want to... And then sent me a weird text message later that said, "Come listen to music with me!".....What? I felt like something weird was up. He said he actually wasn't in the area but could come back, so he swung by and picked me up for a quick drive around the neighborhood and said how happy he was to have me and everything else in his life, and kept getting all these calls but wouldn't answer, and acted like he was on some sort of upper, all jittery and nervous and just WEIRD. After that, he dropped me off and I didn't hear from him again that night. The next morning he came by and told me to come outside, and proceeded to dump me once again. He said he didn't feel anything for me and hadn't the past month or so, didn't care about me, didn't think we clicked anymore because he's changing, etc, and then left me outside of my door sobbing, and that was the last time I saw him.
Later that week, Aimee (who was in town) and I went to get Maria and we ended up going to a rave and having girls night after girls night which was nice... I love them <3
That Sunday Aimee, Maria, and I went to karaoke with Candace, Ace, and Stephen followed by Ihop ;) ...And other fun things ;)
I started taking singing lessons. :)
Then I found out that Daniel actually cheated on me not too long before he went to jail... And of course he denied it when I confronted him, but then finally admitted it. Douche. When I asked Ben about it he asked, "With who, the black chick?".... No, what black chick? Wow...
More school, spent lots of time with Aimee, and Aimee met her lover boy; he randomly added her on facebook and they've been talking ever since (now they're actually going out; funny how love works sometimes).
Ace invited me to come to the Foo Fighter's concert in Tennessee on May 20th and then to his cousin's wedding in Chicago the day after! AHHHHHHHH!!!! <3
Started going out with Ace on May 23rd, which is the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time... It's absolutely unbelievable how much he makes me smile and gives me butterflies.. It's incredible. :)
On May 30th I got into a severe car accident and totaled my Corolla. :( I hydroplaned to the left of a school bus close the Pleasant Hill Rd exit on I-85 S coming from Ace's house, and spun around across the highway and then head on into the median. When I crawled out of the smoke filled car I couldn't believe I was alive. And by crawl, I mean, I could only open the door about half way. Two cop cars, an ambulance and a tow truck came and needless to say, I had to call in to work as this happened about 15 minutes before I was supposed to be there. Once the adrenaline rush wore off, I could barely move my right arm and it hurt... I remember I was on the phone with Candace and I just started crying because it all hit me at one time and it was really horrible. To this day I still haven't been able to purchase a car, but hopefully I'll be able to within the next few months. Note to self: GET CREDIT! Candace came and picked me up and took me to the emergency clinic to check my arm out, and luckily it was just severely bruised and the nerves were going hay wire. Candace stayed with me for over 24 hours to make sure I was ok, and even drove me up to Laurenceville with a bad stomach (and called around to see where my car was for me) to check out my car and see if it was totaled and if we could sell any parts. Yup, it was completely totaled and I was able to sell about $300 worth of parts... Not much for a $4500 car, but at least I got something back.
The wreck happened on a Wednesday, and Ace came over on Saturday and surprised me with flowers, chocolate, and banana pudding since they didn't have rice pudding... So incredibly sweet. <3 That was almost a month ago and it still makes me smile so huge haha. :)
LOTR night with Chris and Tyler! Note to self: If Chris asks where the Jack is, don't tell him; he'll blame you for telling him later on.
Random photoshoots with Michelle and later with Candace and Cassie!
Got to borrow a 1999 Saturn from pappa's lawyer friend, Bob, who has been very generous to let me keep it until now (2 weeks later)... And I still don't think I need to give it back anytime within the near future but we will see.. If he needs it then I'll need to bring it back before I'd otherwise have to.
Dusted Bob's entire house with Michelle and Ian as well as moved furniture. They left with all this old photography equipment and international alcoholic beverages, which they seemed to love... I was left with a severe cold-like sickness for a few days, I'm guessing due to the heaps and heaps of saw dust everywhere, but whatever, I loved looking at all his ancient books and artifacts. ;)
The next night Ace and I saw Your Highness (AMAZING movie if you want to laugh all the way through the movie and out to your car...and possibly all the way home). Before the movie he even took me into a cosplay store, lolol, it was cool as hell actually; I'm not gonna lie. Also, some Hispanic dude tried selling us a straightener and asked if either of us use one and I pointed at Ace... Hahaha he looked so embarrassed, I felt so bad.... <3
Tests, tests, tests.
NEW FOO FIGHTER'S CD! I am pumpeddd.
Ace took me to Helen! Wonderful day which I'd love to write more about if it wasn't 3:30 in the morning and if I got more than 3 hours of sleep last night.. I found out at 2am that I had a test in biology 6 hours later, and my friend Claudia had no clue either... Wow.
Scream 4!!! Ace's friends are great haha and Yeni and I bet Ace would scream like a girl but no... no luck this time... lol

Long story short, things have gotten a lot better lately. I'll have to write more later when I'm awake enough to do so without the edges of my vision fading in and out, yes, I am VERY tired! My bed is calling... mm... soft....bed.... I can't waittt..... I am fallng aslep as Im' typinsg.. Haha woww, gnight!

2009-12-14T01:42:00.001-08:00

If you love someone, just be straight forward with them and tell them.. Don't be like me and try to just prove it with actions because it doesn't always work the way you want it to.

I MET IRON MAN!!!

2009-09-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

It was 8:25 pm and I had just finished setting a table for four that a man had reserved by phone earlier that day. I looked at the tiny, rectangular reservation paper that hung off of the table by a piece of tape and saw the name Rich and simply shrugged and thought, "I wonder if they're still going to be coming tonight". A few minutes later, four people came in through the door, two of them still behind the room divider in front of the door so that all I could see was their hair, and I asked, "Good evening, did you make a reservation?" Suddenly, Iron Man and Tropic Thunder actor, Robert Downey Jr., stepped out from behind the room divider and said, "Yes, Downey," and my mind just turned blank. One of my favorite actors standing right in front of me, completely unexpectedly, to eat at my work place, 5 minutes from my home.

I led them to their table, gave them their menus, and took their drink orders. Robert and his wife, Susan Downey (producer of films including Ghost Ship, Gothika and The Brave One), ordered two hot teas, and his dad ordered an regular unsweetened tea and I had to break the news to him that we unfortunately didn't have that, and that we had iced green tea and jasmine tea instead. Robert asked me if the hot tea comes in different flavors or just one, and I said one and then went and made the drinks. Once I was in the back I told Sache-san and she said "Okay, stay calm!" and then immediately went and told the news to other employees. I went out and served the drinks and then took their order. Robert started, so I went to his side of the table and stood 3 inches away from him trying to stay as professional as possible, while thinking, God damn, it feels like I'm in a movie right now, not only his voice but the way he talks is just like the way he talked in Iron Man! It was hilarious hearing him say, "Would you like to order anything, dad?" They ordered two orders of pork gyoza (dumplings), two orders of seaweed salad, and beef teriyaki. I was so starstruck that 30 seconds after I left I forgot whether they ordered chicken teriyaki or beef tataki, and had to go back and double check, while thinking "CRAP!" They were all talking and I felt rude interrupting, but part of being a waitress is learning how to interrupt politely, so I did, and Robert looked up at me and smiled while the others were still talking. After I doubled checked, Robert said, "Thank you for double checking, because I think we would actually like two orders of that instead."

When the red miso soup and seaweed salad were finished I brought them out there and when I served the red miso soup to his wife, she said "No, I actually don't want it," and then Robert said "Actually, I'll take it!" What the hell? Haha. Then they were ready to order some sushi and Susan just said "Can I have some vegitable sushi?" and I said, "We have different kinds of vegetables." Then Robert took over and was like, "We would like to have one cucumber roll, and one sweet potato roll," and then his dad asked if we have a lobster roll and I recommended one and they ordered two and ended up loving them. :) As I was leaving I heard how Robert was being extremely enthusiastic saying, "You should try this seaweed salad out, it's delicious," and I tried so hard not to laugh. Later when I came with the chicken teriyaki, Robert was like, "Oh wow will you look at that!" and he said the same thing when I served the huge plate of sushi. Later I came back with a pot of tea to refill his tea and saw that his cup was empty, and when I asked if he wanted more he said, "Yes, please!" I don't know why I felt flattered but I did. After all I made the tea, hahaha! I was scared it'd be too weak or something because I tend to do that sometimes.

At 9 the retaurant closed, which means that the kitchen was about to close, so I went back to the table and asked if they want to order anything else from the kitchen before it closes, and he said, "Yeah, I'd like to order everything we ordered all over again!" and I laughed, and then he said, "Nah, I believe we're good." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sache-san looking very amused.

When they were done eating I was told to clock out, and I was in the back thinking "Shit shit shit, I need to get a picture with this guy, who knows when it'll happen again.." When I went up front again, my boss (and owner and sushi chef of the place), Hayakawa-san, was in the front talking to them like he does with every customer, and told me to go get the camera. I thought he wanted to take a picture with them because the guy's a famous Hollywood star, but he didn't know who it was.. So when Robert went into the bathroom I was like, "Hayakawa-san, the guy in the bathroom is Robert Downey Jr.." "Who?" "Iron man.." "IRON MAN?! Are you kidding me? That guy?!" *points at bathroom* "Yes..." and he walked up to Robert's family and said "I need to ask you guys, is that really Iron Man?" and they said, "Yes it is, but that's not all he does!" and I started talking about how I love the movie Chaplin so much, and then Hayakawa-san started asking if there's a way to get a picture but then was interrupted by something, I don't remember what. When I got a moment with him I said, "That guy is one of my favorite actors of all time." A moment later, Robert came out of the bathroom and Hayakawa-san asked him to sign his autograph on a huge plack, and Robert wrote "For Sushi House!! Hayakawa!!! Robert Downie 2009," and I could see how happy my boss was. :) Hayakawa-san then pointed at me and said "Can I take a picture? She said she's a huge fan of yours!" and Robert said, "Oh really?" and I stretched forward my hand and he shook his and asked, "What is your name?" "Bethany" "Nice to meet you," and I told him I am interested in working in the movie business. Then Hayakawa-san wanted to take a picture, and I thought it'd be all of us but it was just me and Robert, and I was trying to not stand too close because I didn't want to invade his personal space, but then he was like, "C'mere!" and put his arm around me and I was like holy shit.. Hayakawa-san then took a picture with him and looked so incredibly happy. God, a world-famous actor ate at his restaurant. I'm so happy for him.

Soon after that it was time for them to leave, and like usual, we all shouted out "Arigatoo gozaimasita!" (Thank you very much) and after replying to all that, Robert looked at me and yelled "GOOD LUCK!"

God what a nice experience. :) And contrary to popular belief, Robert Downey Jr. is incredibly nice and polite, at least when he is able to enjoy a nice, quiet dinner with his family without being treated like anything other than a normal human being. Until he's done eating at least.. :)

Long Distance..

2009-07-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

A poem I wrote. The beginning of the poem is inspired by the amazing song on Franco's blog, and the rest goes as follows:

This is a letter
A letter from the sky
Like a tranquil lullaby
It smoothly swept by
And flew off with speed
So it will reach you
Before you sleep

It carries my voice
Across the horizon
Through the black waves
'Til it has found
Its destination
And it reaches you
As a warm summer breeze

This is a letter
And it brings you my heart
So there will be no more nights
Spent so far apart
Look at the letter
And you'll see it's true:
"I love you, only you"

And here's one I wrote on the plane back to the US from Sweden a couple weeks ago:

Oh, leaving you
Feels like hanging over the edge
I gaze at the widespread ocean
With a clouded vision

I see the truth
In the landscapes passing by
The weight on my heart can prove
That this is our goodbye

Say you love me, it lights a fire
I've never felt before
The plane keeps on lifting higher
Till I see your face no more

Oh My God..

2009-07-14T20:11:00.001-07:00

I have not updated this in ages. So much has been going on in my life.

1) I had a long week of exams before summer break (who didn't?).
2) I spent 4 weeks in Sweden and 1 week in Denmark. They were arguably the best 5 weeks of my life. Simply put, I could write a book about the trip.
3) During the two weeks I've been back in the US, my family has been visited by my Grandma, cousin (and best friend) Aimee, and my mom's old friend Melissa who, before last week, I hadn't seen since I was 4. Scary..
4) I GOT A JOB! And not just any job, I got offered a job at one of Atlanta's finest Japanese restaurants and Sushi bars called Sushi House Hayakawa and of course I accepted the job offer.. Only thing is, I'm the only non-Japanese person employee so I better start learning more Japanese. I can already read a lot of Japanese so I guess that'll help me learn the menu by heart (because it's mainly in Japanese).
5) I am getting my license soon! FINALLY! :)
6) I had to schedule classes.
7) I had to CHANGE my schedule due to my job.
8) I had to apply for student loans (After a week of worrying that I possibly wouldn't be able to attend Georgia State University this semester.

That's the last two months in a nut shell. I'll have to write more about Sweden though.. Until then, sayonara! :)

Next - Southbound Train to the Airport

2009-04-03T18:49:00.001-07:00

Okay today Atlanta's Marta public transportation system was completely screwed up; I stood at Five Points Station around 5pm for 20 minutes awaiting the Doraville train and I am not kidding when I tell you that one southbound train came every 30 seconds-2 minutes. Everytime one would arrive, I would hear a female voice over the speakers say, "Next, Southbound train to the airport", indicating that yet another Southbound train was about to arrive, only a minute or so after the one that was already there. People all around me were so pissed off and stated that they had already stood there for a half an hour waiting for the same train as me, and everytime the Doraville train was supposedly "arriving", it wouldn't and instead two North Springs trains came, one minute apart. We were like what the hell? Haha, but eventually the Doraville train came but it was packed, although I guess that was to be expected.

No, the funniest Marta related incident occurred the other day: I was sitting there on my way home, minding my own business and listening to music on my iPod really loud when I all of a sudden heard something that sounded like a roar of a snore (I'm not kidding, that shit was loud). My first instinct was to look up, and when I did I realized that everyone in that part of the train, I'd say maybe 5o-70 people, were quietly looking around and looking as if they were just as puzzled as I was. After a few minutes of scanning through the people on the train, I saw that a guy who appeared to be in his 20's was sitting there covering his face and laughing while his face was as red as a tomato, so I assumed it was him, but soon I found out it was actually a gangster looking dude behind him who appeared to be my age. The dude was just sitting there, slouched down with his head leaned against the window and his mouth open, and the snoring continued to get louder and louder to the point to where everyone in that part of the train were laughing their asses off (including me, I'm usually good about not laughing but that shit was funny). Soon, the young guy whose face was red as a tomato (because people thought he was the one that was snoring) ended up getting off and I yelled, "It's okay, we know it wasn't you man," and he laughed and looked relieved. 10 minutes later we finally arrived at the last train station, Doraville Station, and the dude was still fast asleep, and a lady sitting across from me asked if I had a camera or laptop anything to record him with to put it on Youtube but of course, that day out of all days, I did not have either with me. Damn.

A Day to Remember

2009-03-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

AIMEE HAS A BOYFRIEND! WOOOO! She's liked this guy for I don't know how long?

aimzehh (11:52:30 PM): omg
aimzehh (11:52:35 PM): i keep smiling

I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER! :D

In the Need to See a Doctor

2009-01-26T09:53:00.000-08:00

Hey,

I guess I'm just feeling a little down today and I feel like I'm alone in all this even though I'm not. I went to school today feeling a little sick to my stomach, and struggled to stay on the train the whole way to Atlanta. When I finally got to Five Points station, and walked the block or two I needed to in order to get to my English class, I was so dizzy I could barely stand up, and was trying my best to fight off the nausea. Chris came out of the classroom because his class was over and the poor guy had to witness when I plopped down on the floor due to not being able to remain standing. I talked to the English teacher as soon as I saw her and told her about my situation, and she asked me why I even came to school. I'm not the type of person who skips and I've already missed a few days due to whatever is going on with me, so I wanted to try my best to go today, but to no avail. She was very understanding and told me to go home, so here I am.

I had my gallbladder removed about a half a year ago, so I should be feeling fine by now, yet my health seems almost as bad as it used to, but in a different way. I have no clue why, since a few months ago the doctor said nothing was wrong with me, and that I was just "recovering". The only thing I can think of is anxiety, since sometimes when I worry about something I make myself really sick, but that does not explain sitting on the sofa watching a movie and randomly feeling sick to my stomach. I really don't get it. What makes it worse is that I am scared to death of throwing up. If I had a headache all the time, it would suck, yes, but at least I would not feel terrified. I'm just really upset because this is stopping me from living my life and doing the things I want to do. I try my best to enjoy life, and trust me, I have an insane appreciation for life and all the little amazing things that come with it that most people would find pointless. I just really envy the people who feel great almost all the time, because I know that if I was that way, I'd be out and about all the time, get good grades in my classes, possibly do some good in this world, and I'd never have to say no thanks to my friends whenever they ask to hang out.

Hopefully this time, the doctor will take the time to listen to me so that he can really help me.

A State of Euphoria

2009-01-18T12:42:00.000-08:00

This was the first Regents' Exam Practice essay I had to write but I figured I'd post it here because it can sort of give you an idea of who I am, or at least some aspects of my personality that are more obvious.

All my life, I have been greatly interested in photography, videography, and travelling, which are all closely associated with friends, family members and memories. I rarely leave the house without my camera, and I am glad; Always having my camera by my side has enabled me to successfully capture memories and portray the personalities of the people whom I hold dear to my heart. Video-editing is a great passion of mine, and after years of patiently and diligently cutting and dragging a million different movie clips onto a time line on Windows Movie Maker above various carefully selected songs, I have found that my current compilation of completed music videos is almost endless. Travelling and learning more about different countries is another great interest of mine, resulting from living in Sweden for six years. Living abroad truly opened up my mind and enabled me to look at the world from a broader perspective, and now I have the ability to successfully communicate with and reach out to a much more vast population than earlier in my life. If my house suddenly caught on fire, the three belongings I would not hesitate to save are my camera, external computer hard drive, and two passports; without them I would, in my opinion, lose almost all connection to my past, future, and the outside world.

I do not know anyone who takes as many pictures as me; No matter where I go, my camera is either in my pocket, or purse. That way, if I stumble upon an old friend, watch a rare historical event unfold, or just simply feel photogenic, my camera is always within my reach. After I take pictures, I generally edit the colors on Photoshop in order to make the pictures appear slightly more vivid, and then I upload them in an online photo album. That way, the colorful photos are always viewable, whenever or wherever I am, like memories that never fade away. Memories have shaped who I am; At times they govern my emotions, choices and my ability to dream and hope for an ever improving future, while I at the same time wish I could go back and relive my childhood once more. It is easy to say that, without my camera, I would not be who I am today. I would not feel the same strong bond with my friends and the rest of the world as I currently do, and at times, my life would feel rather uninteresting and dull rather than colorful and full of retentive memories.

In relation to making life more colorful, and finding things that govern my emotions and actions considerably, movies and music greatly inspire me. Whenever I have time on my hands, I tend to sit down and brainstorm different ideas for new music videos. Such creations require a lot of time, patience and effort, but when I finish a project, I feel very productive and proud. In addition to feeling like I accomplished something exceptional, I become more and more creative every time, which allows my next music video project to be far more complex. An increased will to be a creative individual allows me to excel in numerous aspects of my life, including activities I like to do on my free time such as writing stories, creating art or music from scratch on the computer, and more important skills such as getting to know new people, getting a good job, and writing essays or short stories for school. An even more rewarding result from being more creative is that I have been able to reach out to more people, and I have maybe even brought a smile to their lips through my videos. If it was not for my external computer hard drive, on which I store all of my movies, music, video-editing software and finished projects, this would be an impossible task to achieve.

The last belongings I would rescue if my house was burning down are my two passports, which I am blessed to have in my possession. One of the passports is an American one, given that I am an American citizen; however, I am also a Swedish citizen, and therefore, I have a Swedish passport as well. Without them, it would be extremely difficult to travel back and forth between the two countries as I please, and I would have no opportunity to move back to Sweden later on in my life. With my Swedish passport, I am also able to travel to numerous countries in Europe for extensive periods of time without trouble, which is something I have not taken advantage of yet. Living abroad for six years proved to me that being very connected to the outside world is important, and it enabled me to understand and enjoy other cultures and languages in a way that I never would have thought possible. That is a very important skill now that different ethnicities and cultures are spread out in a way so that the world has become a gigantic melting pot. If everyone had a more profound understanding of the world's people, cultures and religions, then foolish quarrels and disagreements would be more easily avoided, and the world would possibly be more peaceful.

Thanks to my three most cherished belongings, I am able to fully enjoy life and be the best person that I can be. I have learned so many valuable lessons, become more creative, more understanding, more appreciative and more knowledgeable about a wide variety of subjects, and I am ultimately able to be somewhat of an inspiration to my close friends and family members. I am able to talk to people from across the world about anything partaining to their lives, while making them smile and appreciate life themselves. Life is truly awe-inspiring, and all we have to do is stop, take a look around, and observe the world around us, in order to feel like we are part of something truly remarkable. With my camera, external computer hard drive, and two passports, I have successfully reached that state of euphoria, and I will not let any fire take that away from me.

Thursday is Christmas!

2008-12-23T14:07:00.000-08:00

Only 1 day left! :D I suck at telling my family what I want for Christmas, but either way, I know this Christmas is going to be great. So many Christmas days in the past revolved around arguments and fights, especially a couple years ago, but now things seem to be a lot better.

I wonder if we are going to celebrate Christmas on the 25th, the American way, or if we are going to celebrate it on Christmas Eve like they do in Sweden. It'll be interesting.

I hope all of you get everything you wished for and more, and if I do not have time to write on Christmas, have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)

Congratulations, Obama!

2008-11-04T21:50:00.001-08:00

Obama is the 44th president of the United States of America and the first African-American president. I feel that I am incredibly blessed to be alive to see this historic victory. Frankly, I am so happy that I can hardly sit still! :D For the first time in over 8 years, I am proud to call myself an American. Tonight proved that anything is possible, and that white, black, asian, hispanic, indian, or whatever we are, we are all worth the same and should have the same chance to change the world. I believe that Obama represents the US as a whole, which all in all is a huge melting pot full of different races, cultures, wishes and dreams. He, more than anyone before him, has the ability to understand all of us because he IS all of us, and not only that, the whole world has since the beginning of the election been able to relate to him for that very reason. Before his election, people from all over the world were able to look from the outside in and see what about the US needs to be changed, and came to the conclusion that Obama has what it takes. That means a lot, considering that from 1998-2004, when I lived in Sweden, I myself had the chance to look from the outside in and see what a bad place the US was becoming, and to be honest, I was absolutely disgusted. I was afraid to call myself an American, because, especially from the beginning of the millenium, Americans were referred to by MANY as ignorant bastards. I heard people say it over, and over, and over again, time after time, year after year, right next to me, and every time I heard it I just wanted to disappear off the face of this earth. I myself am an American, but when I lived abroad, I could honestly understand why the majority over in Europe (if not the rest of the world) had that opinion about us. Now, as a country, we have proved them wrong, and for the first time in years upon years, I am not afraid to say that I am American.

In addition to that, I noticed that, even though Obama is the first African-American president, he did not go on and on about it.Instead, he paid attention to all of us, which proves that he did this for US as a country and not just for the African-Americans' pride (dw I love you guys though and you should be proud!).Think what you want - but I believe that the US will, from the beginning of next year, be in good hands, and we will see the change that we have all been yearning for. Like Obama said, it might not all get better within the next year, or even within the next term, but it WILL happen as long as we have our minds set on it.

- AND all of you who are worried about him taking your guns away and taking away all of your means of defending yourselves, know that I am on your side. However, all of you who do not want to pay more in taxes for free healthcare, know this: In many other parts of the world, including Europe, they have the exact kind of Healthcare system Obama is trying to induce. Believe it or not, but I have ONLY heard good things about it from the people there, even though they have to pay more in taxes. They all say it is well worth it, and even this past summer when I went to Sweden, people mocked me, YES, mocked me because I live in the US where the fucking health (and other types of) insurance sucks. You might not be sick now, or even in 10 years, but when you are old (and if you don't have a good job with good benefits), what will you do? I have had many health problems the past 4-5 years myself and I know what it's like for healthcare insurance to COMPLETELY FUCK YOU OVER. It has become completely unbearable to not get help and to wait months and months to even be able to see the doctor when every day is very difficult for me to get through, and every since my surgery I have not had health insurance and cannot even go in for a "mandatory" follow up. What the fuck!!! I do not like taxes, but folks, SOMETHING needs to be done. Do not focus on the fact that "we will pay taxes for the illegal immigrants to get healthcare", focus on the fact that MILLIONS OF AMERICAN CITIZENS are in DESPERATE NEED of healthcare. Speaking of which, I read numerous bulletins and statuses from McCain supporters stating that they want to simply get up and move to Europe. Well guess what? The way things are in Europe are very similar to the way Obama wants things to be like in the US, including healthcare, taxes, etc., so the people who said that need to get off their high ignorant horse and find out what's happening in the rest of the world. Seriously, if you say you want to move somewhere, read up on things and find out what it's like there first before assuming that their ways are different than Obama's.

** AND FOR THE 100000TH TIME ** - Obama is half white and half black. He was born in Hawaii and his father is from Kenya and his mother is from Kansas. Yes, his father has a TINY bit of Muslim in him, which means that Obama has even less. His family is full of different cultures which, believe it or not, may be crucial in helping the US right now considering that that enables Obama to almost fully understand many other cultures, and for people of other cultures to understand and relate to him, INCLUDING but not at all limited to the muslim culture. This is IMPORTANT. Your average white American who was born here and has not lived abroad for years does NOT, and I repeat, does NOT understand other cultures that way, unless they have studied about cultures for years. I myself did not truly understand other cultures until I LIVED abroad for 6 years.

I understand that all of you who voted for McCain are indescribably disappointed. McCain IS a nice, intelligent man who has a lot of valid points. I definitely admit that. But to say that you want to move away from here and/or want Obama to be assassinated is a bit over the line don't you think (especially the assissination part which proves how ignorant Americans really can be at times)? From what I saw anyway, you criticized the Obama voters more than they criticized you during the election, and now that your candidate of choice lost, you seem to have given up on the US completely. We are a country, and no matter what, we need to be brave and strong and do what we can to make this world a better place, without giving up just because somebody of another race is President. I don't know for sure if Obama will be all he has promised to be, but what I do know as a fact is that this will be different, and maybe, MAYBE, it will be what we have needed for years. DO NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT giving up on America until you have seen what Obama can/can't do.

Please and thank you. <3>
"Some of you... I did not win your vote, but I hear your voice."

Sabrina is gone.

2008-11-02T23:16:00.001-08:00

Sabrina left today - her plane took off at around 5:30pm. It feels unusually quiet and lonely here now that she is gone, and I keep hearing noises which includes the scratching and knocking noises I keep hearing from the rat or possum that is caught up in the ventilation system right above where I am sitting. It has been caught there for days and I don't know how to get it out of there! Anyway, Sabrina is gone, and I miss her. The past month I spent with her was amazing, but I am disappointed that both she and I got sick while she was here and could not do as many things as planned. But all in all it was amazing just being able to spend time with her, chilling and watching South Park, Paranormal State, Ghost Hunters, CSI, and countless scary movies (and some other ones including Forbidden Kingdom, which is awesome by the way).

Today I also watched the fourth episode of a FX original series called Testees which is amazing by the way. It is about two Jewish guys who make money by trying new things and medicines out for a company called Testico. Yes, Testico. And in this week's episode, a million dollar vacuum cleaner almost killed them. Strange, but funny as hell. :D

Georgia State University

2008-10-14T13:34:00.001-07:00

Today I received a call saying that I have been accepted to Georgia State University! I'm really excited knowing that I have been accepted to two very different universities. I now face a hard decision, and only time will tell what I school I chose.

UPDATE: I decided to go to Georgia State University, and I believe I will be starting on January 5th! I can't wait.

Scandinavian Festival

2008-10-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

Today, Sabrina and I volunteered at the Scandinavian Festival at Oglethorpe University! It was a lot of fun and it was great seeing the beautiful campus. I also met a few girls who attend the school and they told me a lot about it. It was also amazing hearing a lot of people speaking Swedish, Danish, Finnish and Norwegian!

From about 8:30am-12pm we helped a lady and a girl from Costa Rica, named Susan serve Swedish pea soup and knackebrod (with Finnish cheese, like Sabrina said) and then from 2-5:30pm we painted children's faces. It was awesome, but some of them couldn't stay still! This one boy who couldn't stay still wanted me to paint a Norwegian and American flag on his face. Why'd he have to chose the hard ones? Haha. :) But it was fun regardless.

Oglethorpe University

2008-10-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have been accepted to Oglethorpe University! :D The weird thing is, I didn't pay for the application, nor did I write the "mandatory" essay one must submit with their application. I cannot think of the words to explain how shocked I was when I received the letter. The first thing I did was call the Oglethorpe Admissions Office to make sure that it wasn't a mistake, and sure enough, they told me I had been accepted. Crazy! I'm so excited, however, I am not sure if it would be a wise decision going there considering how much the tuition costs (about $1060 per credit hour). We'll see what happens. :)

Violence vs. Sex

2008-10-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

I just got done watching a South Park episode called "Good Times With Weapons", in which the four boys Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny bought ninja weapons, and while "fighting" Butters, Kenny managed to throw his ninja star in Butters' eye. The boys freaked out knowing that if they brought Butters' to the hospital, their parents would find out that they bought weapons, and they'd all be in deep trouble. They happened to lose Butters, and while trying to find him, the boys came across their parents at an auction. In an attempt to sneak by them, Cartman used his "invisibility" powers (in reality he took off all his clothes), and while he was walking right in front of them, naked, Butters' showed up with the ninja star in his eye. All the boys and parents then went to a town meeting, and come to find out, the town meeting was about Cartman walking in front of everyone nude rather than Butters' being severely hurt due to the kids' violence. In the end, Stan said "I guess parents don't give a crap about violence if there are sex things to worry about". That is so unbelievably true; a recent American poll asking "What would you rather your kids see: A head being decapitated or two people having sex?" showed that parents prefer violence over sex. That's sick.

This brings me to my next topic: teenage pregnancy. Many American parents are completely against teenage sex that they don't even talk to them about it before it's too late. I would say it's a lot better to give your daughter birth control pills just in case, instead of telling her that sex is simply forbidden. Teenagers and even some of younger age do it anyway, but don't protect themselves because they either didn't learn how to, or do not have access to methods of protection, and then get pregnant. The following is a good example: My grandmother told my mother that sex was forbidden, but my mom did it anyway without access to birth control pills and ended up getting pregnant shortly thereafter. Several years later, my mother made sure I had all the methods of protection I needed, and I haven't gotten pregnant. The same thing goes for drinking: If parents teach kids how to do it right instead of saying that it's completely forbidden before they reach the age of 21, then many deaths due to alcohol poisoning, for instance, could be avoided.

3 Days.

2008-10-01T17:42:00.001-07:00

3 days until Sabrina gets here. :) I can't wait. It's going to be amazing. She's going to be here for an entire month! So I've been cleaning & unpacking like crazy, trying to get this house cleared out before she arrives. I can't wait to meet new people and go new places. I have to figure out how to go places with the Marta busses and trains though.

I recently found out that the school I'm probably going to in the spring, Georgia State University, offers exchange student programs to Belfast & Newcastle in the UK and SWEDEN! I'm excited as I don't see why I can't go there, you know? And if Film and Video is going to be one of my majors then I might even be able to study in Italy for a while. We'll see what happens, but Sweden & the UK are at the top of my list. I lived in Sweden for years and the UK fascinates me. I'm actually almost full-blooded Irish and that explains why my hair always stays a reddish tint, no matter what color I dye it.

I want to do things that most other people don't do, so that my perspective on life, and the rest of the world, will be different. Then I might have the chance to make a difference some how. :)

Oh, and new South Park episodes start in a week! :D

Mom's Birthday :)

2008-09-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

Today mom is turning 35. Happy birthday! :) I watched my brother and sister while she went out to eat dinner with her boyfriend & I'm hoping she had a good time.

I also finished my South Park video:

Stan Marsh from South Park wants you to leave Britney Spears alone. ;) Nah but the voice is the voice of Chris Crocker, the guy who became famous after posting his "Leave Britney Alone" video, and I figured it'd be funny to make a South Park video saying the same thing considering that Britney was in one of the episodes this year.

Peelander-Z

2008-09-19T00:04:00.000-07:00

So from 9AM to 1:30AM I was at a concert at the Drunken Unicorn, which you have to be 18 to enter. I guess I should say, thank god I'm 18! It was AMAZING! I saw a crazy Japanese band called Peelander-Z with mom and her boyfriend Shingo, and 4 different Japanese bands played before them, and they were all great.

So when Peelander-Z's three members ran out on stage they were dressed up in these crazy costumes that looked cool as hell, & 5 minutes later they started singing a song about a tiger, lol. & One of the guys, dressed in yellow with a yellow tiger mask on top of his head took the mask off and placed it on top of my head and pulled me onto the stage. That was INSANE! For the minute or two I stood alone on stage with the band in front of all those people I felt like I was on top of the world and all I could do was raise my hands into the air and shout "WOOOOOO!!!!". :D For the next minute or so they pulled up a few more people who got to just stand there, but the fact that he pulled me up first and gave me his mask was incredible. I was the last to get off stage and when I did, the yellow guy leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and then I handed him his mask back.

IT WAS INCREDIBLE!!

This Is Wrong

2008-09-18T19:03:00.002-07:00

aimzehh - Aimee
Elanessea - Me

aimzehh (10:52:30 PM): i've had like 5 boyfriends?
aimzehh (10:52:54 PM): Simon, Casper, Brandon, Joe, John
aimzehh (10:52:56 PM): thats it
aimzehh (10:52:57 PM): ever
aimzehh (10:53:00 PM): i never date ANYONE
aimzehh (10:53:05 PM): i was always a prude HAHAH
aimzehh (10:53:24 PM): wai waiy
aimzehh (10:53:32 PM): there was one more
aimzehh (10:53:35 PM): god damnit
aimzehh (10:53:40 PM): i can't remember his name
aimzehh (10:53:42 PM): it was weird
Elanessea (10:53:51 PM): lol
aimzehh (10:53:53 PM): it was with an L
aimzehh (10:53:58 PM): i just don't remember
Elanessea (10:53:59 PM): larrence
Elanessea (10:54:01 PM): lol
aimzehh (10:54:02 PM): YEAH
aimzehh (10:54:04 PM): actually
aimzehh (10:54:04 PM): LOL
aimzehh (10:54:05 PM): AHAHA
Elanessea (10:54:06 PM): WHAT?!
Elanessea (10:54:07 PM): ARE YOU SERIOUS
aimzehh (10:54:08 PM): laurence*
Elanessea (10:54:08 PM): no way
Elanessea (10:54:10 PM): that was a joke
Elanessea (10:54:11 PM): oh wow
Elanessea (10:54:14 PM): it popped in my head
Elanessea (10:54:17 PM): and i tried to spell it out
Elanessea (10:54:19 PM): but i couldnt

Hahaha <3

Exchange Student in Sweden?

2008-09-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

Today I babysat two boys and made some moolah, and in addition to that, I found out some great news. I have been planning on either going to Georgia State University or the Georgia Technical Institute (Georgia Tech) in the spring if I stay in the US. Georgia Tech is the one I want to go to the most because I am interested in possibly becoming an X-ray technician, and come to find out that Georgia Tech actually has an exchange program to a school in Sweden called Kungliga Tekniska Högskolan. I've even heard of that school, and best of all, it's in Stockholm! This might work! :)

Oh and about babysitting, I got paid for doing absolutely nothing. I played Guitar Hero with the youngest boy Austin, who's 8 years old (by the way he kicked my ass on Guitar Hero, and I'm actually not bad, so WOW), watched him play Halo and Harry Potter on his xbox 360, and watched Harry Potter & the Prisoner From Azkaban. Then I let their dog out a few times which took like 2 minutes each time, and I ordered pizza. I made $70 for 8-9 hours of that! Awesome! :D

Internet :D

2008-09-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

So today we finally got our internet working, or rather, some 26 year old guy working for Comcast got it to work. He was awesome, and while he was trying to get the cable to work he almost had me laughing hysterically. Hahah. Crazy thing is that his last name is Duncan (same as my mom's last name) and his dad owns a huge landscaping company called Duncan's Landscaping, and on youtube he showed us the crazy commercial his dad made. They might be related to us man! That would be sweet. :) Well anyhow, the internet is working now which is nice so I can keep in contact with all the people that rarely use phones. It's sad that myspace is slowly becoming the main method of commucation.

Moving + Japanese Food = :D

2008-09-12T23:33:00.000-07:00

Today we finally started moving all of our belongings to the new house. The movers we hired were two African American guys, one rather young one, not much older than myself, and an older one named Mike. They worked HARD, and to think that they do it every day? I really respect people like that. Shingo (Mom's boyfriend) got them drinks at the gas station and some lunch later on that day and I could tell that they really appreciated it because they kept saying, "He cool man, you like him?"

For dinner, mom, Shingo and I went to an authentic Japanese resturaunt down the street from the house. We were greeted by a girl in a kimono who spoke Japanese to us and all of the customers in sight were Japanese. The food was amazing - even the fish liver was delicious! The third dish Shingo ordered consisted of a whole fish (head, tail, bones, everything), and meat that was carved out of the fish and placed on top. It was crazy looking, but very good; However, when Shingo asked our waiter to have the remaining part of the fish deep fried (head, tail, bones, fins, etc.) I was a bit disgusted and wondered how that would turn out. Once again, I was suprised - the deep fried fish scraps ended up being my favorite dish that night, which was odd!

7 Years Since 9/11

2008-09-11T12:11:00.001-07:00

Today it has been seven years since the terrible incident that occured on September 11th, 2001, and I know that today definitely is not a good day for a lot of people. :( Seven years went by fast. I really hope the families and friends of all of the people that died are doing well.

On a more positive note, I am packing like crazy! We are moving tomorrow morning and today is the last day my mom and I have to get all of our family's stuff together. The exhausting thing is that we haven't even packed half of our stuff yet, and we have been packing for a couple days. Maybe I should get off here then so I can continue doing what I have to do! :P

Wow I've lived in Stockbridge for the past four years in exception to a half a year in Peachtree City. I'm going to miss everyone here like crazy.

Don't Ever Starve Yourself

2008-09-10T12:57:00.001-07:00

Starvation is a ferocious and evil cycle, just like dehydration - it makes you nauseous, which limits the amount of food you're actually able to eat, which in turn makes the whole situation worse.

Basically, that's what I had to deal with BIG TIME, especially after my gallbladder was surgically removed (which took place about a month ago). For the past four or five years I have experienced heartburn and/or nausea so bad that it's been nearly impossible for me to eat anything, especially the past year, so I basically ended up almost starving myself to death. I didn't realize how sick I was until after surgery - my mom even started getting very worried and one night a few days ago she straight out told me that she was afraid that I was going to die. That scared the crap out of me and ever since then I've tried to eat more food in hopes that it will help me feel better. The past few days I have been feeling less nauseous anyway, which is nice. I still get severe heartburn which usually ends up causing nausea, and yes, it drives me insane, but at least I know I'm eating.

So all of you reading this, please always eat. If you have troublesome acid reflux and/or a hiatal hernia like I do, eat anyway because if you don't you will end up far more miserable than you could ever imagine. People say starvation is the worse way to die and I'm sure it is, because I had a little taste of it and I know it is pure hell. EAT!!! :)

Packing & More Packing

2008-09-09T12:46:00.000-07:00

We're moving to our house in Doraville, GA on Friday! It's a great relief. Right now we (5 people) live in a two bedroom apartment and I sleep out in the livingroom on a mattress. It could be a lot worse though, I know that. :) When we moved into this apartment we had a house full of stuff but now, after throwing away A LOT of junk, we only have an apartment full of stuff. It's still a lot though and it's definitely taking quite a while to finish packing.

Colton, Justin and Rachel stopped by today since they know we're moving in a couple days, and we sat around watching South Park and baking pie. Yeah, interesting? :P They're awesome anyway and I'm really going to miss being right down the street from them when I move.

MORE ABOUT SWEDEN

2008-07-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

More about Sweden coming soon. :)

Arrival in Sweden

2008-07-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

Johannes, Matilda, pappa and I left the Atlanta airport at 8pm on July 8th, and arrived at the Stockholm airport, Arlanda, at 11:40am Swedish time (5:40am American time). The flight took about nine hours, and it all went smoothly except that a man had a medical emergency and needed to be seen by a doctor. Luckily, there was a nurse or a doctor on board at the time. During the whole flight I sat next to a man from Los Angeles; he was very pleasant to talk to and actually ended up talking way more than me, which was pretty strange. We talked about many different aspects of our lives and I found out that he is the boss of a company in Los Angeles and speaks many languages, including Spanish because he has to hire people with many different cultural backgrounds. I also found it interesting that his wife is from Sweden, and since she for some reason lives in Sweden, he only gets to see her every now and then.

When we arrived at the Stockholm airport, we were greeted by my Swedish grandparents and Sabrina. My Grandma gave me a few late graduation presents and then Sabrina and I had to hurry out to her mom’s car because she was waiting for us. About ten minutes later we stopped at McDonald’s and it was completely astounding to hear everybody speak and order their food in Swedish, after being used to hearing only English when going out to eat. They also served banana milkshakes and McFlurrys with the flavor of a popular Swedish candy called "Bilar" (which means "Cars"); that was interesting! We ate outside and I was amazed at how blue the sky was and how warm it was, but it wasn’t humid like it is in Georgia – the weather was perfect and I loved it. I wanted to eat fries and drink Coke but I couldn’t because of the gallbladder problems I had then, but it didn’t bother me. I was in Sweden and it mattered to me more than anything!

When we finished our meal we drove through Stockholm and I gazed upon the astonishing old buildings and beautiful bridges that passed us by. Stockholm must be one of the prettiest capital cities in the world with all of its old architecture and its many lakes and harbors, but most importantly of all, that is where I spent 4 years of my life, and passing through the city brought back so many wonderful memories that I had forgotten until then. When we finally reached Tumba, the city Sabrina and all of my other close friends live in, I felt this breathtaking feeling I have never felt before. Everything looked the same as I had left it, yet at the same time, it looked so different. Right now, as I am writing this, I feel almost as happy as I did then, and I realize how wonderful of a feeling it is! As we drove up Storvretsbacken (the long, steep hill leading up to the part of the city where Sabrina calls home, and where I lived five years ago) I still had an incredibly hard time realizing that I was finally back in Sweden, after all these years. For four years I had dreamt about being able to travel back to Sweden, the country where I still truly believe I belong, and for four years I had tried to envision what it was feel like to see everybody again – but I never thought it would feel as incredible as it ended up feeling. :D

When we arrived at Sabrina’s house, I was greeted by her dad and her two dogs, Iron and Nemo. They actually remembered me, after all these years. They were wagging their tails as if they had long anticipated my return and it felt great! Normally the dogs will bark at people ferociously but they jumped up and started licking my face like crazy.

Sabrina’s dad helped me bring my two suitcases inside and once I had set them down in Sabrina’s room and taken off my shoes, I went inside the kitchen to get something to drink. My heart was racing with excitement realizing how close I was to my old friends, distance wise, and I was hoping it wouldn’t be long until I’d be able to go see some of them again. Most of them did not know I was there, and I figured that those who knew did not know I was already at Sabrina’s house. Suddenly, I heard knocking on the door. My first thought was that it was one of Sabrina’s friends who wanted to say hi, so I slowly moved towards the door to greet them. When I finally reached the hallway and saw who was standing there I thought I was going to faint – right in front of my eyes stood Axel, a good old friend of mine. It felt completely surreal that for the first time in four years, he stood right in front of me again. The only thing I could do was jump almost straight up in the air and give him a hug! It was crazy! At that precise moment I felt like nothing could ever go wrong in my life again.

After catching up with each other, Sabrina, Axel and I played a game called "Kubb". I have no clue what it is called in English and if any American who has never been in Sweden even knows about the game. It’s fun though, and Sabrina and I (who were on a team) actually won once, which was amazing considering how tired I was from the trip and from being jetlagged. After the game, Sabrina sent Axel home because we had to eat and later on we went over to his house to watch movies. His whole family was out with their sail boat which was too bad considering that I really wanted to see them again but I figured maybe I’d have the luck of seeing them again before going up to Northern Sweden to see my own family.

I do not remember what movie(s) we watched; all I know is that I managed to get Axel back for tickling me, which was awesome! :P I mean, he wasn’t ticklish but it was a nice try anyway. When Sabrina and I left Axel’s house to go to bed and walked the three minute path to get back to her house, I still couldn’t believe I was back in Sweden. I’m sure somebody out there knows what it is like to leave a place you love with all your heart and return there after several years? It is incredible.

Cholecystectomy

2008-07-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

For the longest time I thought that the reoccuring pain and heartburn/nausea I've been getting for the past 4 years was completely related to acid reflux and my hiatal hernia, when in fact I actually have gallstones. It's a relief that my doctor found out what the REAL problem is though. I am getting my gallbladder surgically removed in the beinning of next month, soon after I get home from Sweden. I'm scared but at the same time I'm very relieved because living with reoccuring nausea is very tough.

(I can't believe I spelled Cholecystectomy right on my first try.. Haha I got tha powah!)

Anyway, it's July 4th today, so I'm about to go and shoot off some fireworks.. Cya :)

The BEST Week

2008-07-03T23:26:00.000-07:00

My cousin, Aimee, left today to go back home to Florida. The apartment feels very empty and I feel restless. I know I will see her again soon though.

The 9 days she was here were some of the best 9 days of my life. Every day something new happened. She met everyone, even people who I haven't seen in a few years. I skinny dipped for the first time in my life with her (nice huh?) and a few days later we did it again with my friends Dernolan and Christian. I'm sure for people who haven't done it before it sounds awkward but it really isn't. It's just amazingly FUN and something I will look back on as an unforgettable memory for the rest of my life. Skinny dipping, Jennifer's party, going to the movies (Love Guru, Sex and the City and Walle), hanging out with Fabian and Oscar, and going to ihop with Aimee and Christian in the middle of the night was completely unbeatable.

On Tuesday I am going to Sweden and when I get back, my family and I are moving to Doraville, which is 30-40 minutes away from here..

Kittens Born!

2008-06-22T23:33:00.000-07:00

So, my cat Kiki finally had her kittens yesterday (6/21). For a few hours yesterday afternoon I was wondering where she was, and I kept saying, "Maybe she's in labor?" That night, my mom found her in my brother and sister's closet, and she felt wet kittens and carefully carried them and the mom out of the closet and set them down in a huge toy box that looks like a huge plastic basket. They're beautiful. She had 4 total, and we think 3 are males and 1 is a female. The female is a black, brown, orange and beige and white taby/calico/siamese and she's beautiful. Two of the males are orange, one being your typical orange looking cat (he's also the runt meaning he's tiny but he's so cute), and a really light siamese/calico that has small patches of brown, orange and beige mixed with black, so if you don't look carefully it just looks like he has patches of black or dark brown.

In addition to that, everything is going well, and my lunch with Fabian went very well! :) We talked for about 2 hours even though we barely understood eachother! I tried so hard to speak Spanish though and I have already noticed an improvement in my Spanish speaking and understanding. I'm going to the movies with him tomorrow to see the Hulk, and it should be fun.

My 18th birthday is in 14 days and I'm going to Sweden in 16 days! I'm so excited. My plane leaves at 8:30pm on July 8th and arrives in Stockholm at 11:40am their time, which is 5:40am in Georgia, USA. It feels like a dream; I haven't seen my Swedish friends in almost 4 years, which feels more like 10 years. I can't wait to see them. :)

EDIT: Two out of four kittens, my two favorite ones, ended up dying. To this day, we still do not know why.. :(