In the Need to See a Doctor

Hey,

I guess I'm just feeling a little down today and I feel like I'm alone in all this even though I'm not. I went to school today feeling a little sick to my stomach, and struggled to stay on the train the whole way to Atlanta. When I finally got to Five Points station, and walked the block or two I needed to in order to get to my English class, I was so dizzy I could barely stand up, and was trying my best to fight off the nausea. Chris came out of the classroom because his class was over and the poor guy had to witness when I plopped down on the floor due to not being able to remain standing. I talked to the English teacher as soon as I saw her and told her about my situation, and she asked me why I even came to school. I'm not the type of person who skips and I've already missed a few days due to whatever is going on with me, so I wanted to try my best to go today, but to no avail. She was very understanding and told me to go home, so here I am.

I had my gallbladder removed about a half a year ago, so I should be feeling fine by now, yet my health seems almost as bad as it used to, but in a different way. I have no clue why, since a few months ago the doctor said nothing was wrong with me, and that I was just "recovering". The only thing I can think of is anxiety, since sometimes when I worry about something I make myself really sick, but that does not explain sitting on the sofa watching a movie and randomly feeling sick to my stomach. I really don't get it. What makes it worse is that I am scared to death of throwing up. If I had a headache all the time, it would suck, yes, but at least I would not feel terrified. I'm just really upset because this is stopping me from living my life and doing the things I want to do. I try my best to enjoy life, and trust me, I have an insane appreciation for life and all the little amazing things that come with it that most people would find pointless. I just really envy the people who feel great almost all the time, because I know that if I was that way, I'd be out and about all the time, get good grades in my classes, possibly do some good in this world, and I'd never have to say no thanks to my friends whenever they ask to hang out.

Hopefully this time, the doctor will take the time to listen to me so that he can really help me.