I have this sudden urge to create a blog post. This is the occasional, almost unknown-to-the-masses diary of my life that I one day will look back on, and maybe I will find that my progress and determinism will make me proud, once I realize my potential I guess.. Right now life is a struggle.. Not to mention money, which is almost unheard of right now, but most of all I am struggling to leave everything in the past behind me so that I can focus on what I have.. Things feel stressful, but I believe neurotransmitters that cause such feelings of dismay or worry are primarily released as a result of one's biased perception on life.. There are so many positive things going on, and I am working hard to regain my old mindset so that I can smile when things are most difficult and uncertain.. I still try though... and a couple days during the week I find myself truly smiling... Mainly when I'm with him... :)
Ace and I have been together for 5 months now.. He woke me up Tuesday morning on our "monthiversary" by uttering, "I rooove youu! Happy 5 month anniversary... If you don't have to work later, then I will take you out somewhere, maybe we can get some steak!" And he kept his word; we went and had some nom nom at Longhorn Steakhouse. :D I must add though that even if he hadn't kept his promise I would've still sported the same huge smile on my face that I presently bear, because hearing those words were the best start of my day in a very long time... Hehe it makes me happy just thinking about it :)
Best of all, he is looking to get a house and I already put in my 60 days notice so that I can move in with him... :) And even better yet: it was his idea! <3 I don't think it has hit me yet... I'm nervous, but at the same time it doesn't feel real.. It makes me feel so special, but I don't think it'll truly hit me until I'm fixing to move in my stuff there.. and I get to cuddle up to him every night and wake up next to him... I've honestly never felt as comfy or safe as I do when I hear him sleep and wake up to him whispering "I love you" in my ear <3 I don't know... I really threw my whole heart in this time and, even though nobody knows what the future holds, I really hope we're in it for the long run, because thinking about all this knowing I don't have him by my side anymore would make me sad for a very, very long time.. I'm so happy that all the good, bad, wonderful, and terrible things that happened in the past opened exactly the right doors in the elaborate maze of my life so that I could stumble into his arms.. :)
Okay all cheesiness aside, it's bedtime for moi, I'll be back hyah soon! ;)
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